OCD or the way things should be?

Today was my first day back on the saddle and by saddle I mean work and by work I mean an unexpected day of desk warming. Prior to starting the first day back and also while enjoying vacation forgetting what working in a Korean school entails I stopped and asked myself, Angel, why are you always cranky at work? I thought about this and decided it's me just being irritable and the only way to make a happier classroom and work environment is to CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE. I'm pretty sure I've written about this phrase before. I was first introduced to this pick-me-up in undergrad when working for admissions at my university; and for the most part it worked. Now I'm older, much wiser and less patient. Because of these personality changes and my experiences living abroad I've had to adjust to a new motto, I can't. I actually picked this up from my friend MaryKate and it can be said with an eye roll if no one is looking or a slight head shake of disappointment. It also has various meanings. I can't...deal with this now, I'll deal later. I can't...even get angry about this, it's Korea. I've also been known to use I don't get it. Which has mentally gotten me through a lot of weird situations such as random people stroking my hair, I don't get. A man walks by and nearly spits on my feet without hesitation, I don't get it. 

Today I walked into school for the first day back from winter vacation excited to see my students and instead my day was filled with I can't and I don't get it moments. Read below.

1. The last day of school before winter vacation was Friday December 28th. Leading up to this day I kept hinting we should clean our classroom since it's very cluttered and I definitely did not want our classroom like this for the next school year. I think he agreed because by the afternoon the room was turned upside down from the cleaning process. Only one problem. He never actually finished. I left school with a pile of boxes, papers that needed to be thrown out, a vacuum, fan, etc in the front of the classroom. The next two weeks I desk warmed (getting paid to sit around) not knowing what to do with these things. Fortunately, during those two weeks my coteacher briefly came into work and I asked him if I should take care of the mess. He said, "of course not, I'll be back to clean before school starts." "Awesome" I thought. Today, Monday February 4th I walk in to see this. I felt my cheeks turning red from anger and had to calm myself down my repeating my new motto, I can't.

To be fair, we didn't teach today AND after mentioning the mess to him one more time I was informed that most of it was trash and our student's were coming to take it away after lunch. A few hours later our classroom now looks and feels awesome and clean! I don't remember the last time I've been so happy. There is still a fairly large pile of boxes filled with who knows what, but at least it's by the garbage can and not in the front of the classroom. I told a friend this story today and he says it's my OCD. I don't agree, it's just the way things should be or in this case the way things shouldn't be.

2. Came into school and was informed there would be no classes today. Once my computer was turned on I realized my keyboard wasn't working. I'm always having computer issues at work! Don't forget this was also immediately after seeing the mess that was left for a month. I sat and looked at my computer unable to type in my password and thought, I can't. How could I get through a day with nothing to do and no access to Internet. After wiggling the computer cords for twenty minutes I was finally able to work my keyboard and be on my way to surfing the net.

3. While waiting for our teachers meeting to begin my coteachers and I were chatting and the fact that my coteacher is probably leaving my school to work at another school somehow made it's way into our conversation. He did mention he may not teach English this year, but I had no idea he was leaving. Fair enough, I don't need to be told. I did ask when he would find out if he was leaving for sure and he answered probably February 15th. Let's put this into perspective. Yes, we did just have winter vacation. So my students were off for the month of January. Now, we are back in school for two weeks until February 15th and then we have two weeks of spring vacation. Our new school year does not start until March 4th, 2013. I most likely wont know who I will spend the next year teaching with until the first day of school. It is also likely I wont have books for prep until then as well. It is not my coteacher's fault he doesn't know so I sat with a smile and finished the conversation. But you better believe, I don't get it kept repeating itself in my head.